


Kiss Me (On My Open Mouth)

by AlecWinchester



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: A collection of Malec firsts, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec's existence makes Magnus smile, BAMF Magnus Bane, He's also a little possessive, Hurt Alec, M/M, Magnus and Alec love each other very much, Malec Fluff, Protective Magnus Bane, There is a lot of napping in this fic, and so does Magnus Bane, it's so fluffy you'll get a toothache, let Malec nap 2kforever, love can be translated in more ways than just the three big words, they really like kissing each other, things go from hot af to sappy real quick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-10-18 16:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlecWinchester/pseuds/AlecWinchester
Summary: This is Alec's first time making out with another person and he didn't know—he never knew that it could feel this good and he doesn't know how to convey to Magnus that he's losing his mind, this is ruining him and they're only making out and he is just so turned on. He never wants to stop, he wants to do this forever, he is burning from the inside out and by the angel, he would happily burn if it meant that he could kiss Magnus forever.----------Or a collection of Malec firsts.





	1. Kiss me Forever

**Author's Note:**

> In celebration of the Season 3 renewal announcement, I wrote a quick drabble of Malec making out. Literally, that's it, that's all they do. So please, enjoy ;)

Magnus' hands, his fingers slide into Alec's hair and he pulls, tilting his head more to deepen the kiss and Alec moans, the slight pain sending shocks of arousal up his spine. They kiss, kiss and kiss and for a while, it's enough, until it isn't and Alec wants--needs more.

Soon enough they're both out of breath, but Alec doesn't want to separate, he wants to sink into Magnus, breathe him in completely. Alec would be content to drown in everything Magnus is. Sadly, Magnus pulls away, looking as wrecked as Alec feels. He lets he lets his eyes trail over Magnus' face, admiring his glossy, kiss-swollen lips and before he can stop himself, he's leaning in again. Capturing Magnus' bottom between his teeth and biting softly, before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then one on his cheek and another one on his chin before leaning down towards Magnus' neck and biting down, hard, before kissing the spot softly, letting his tongue soothe the slight pain away.

He hears Magnus' breath hitch above him and it's _so fucking hot_ and Alec, determined to pull that sound out of his boyfriend again, redoubles his efforts. Hickeys are trailed down Magnus' throat and along his collarbone before Alec makes his way back up to Magnus' mouth, kissing him hard. When they separate once again, they're both heavily panting. They're staring at each other, pupils blown, lips bruised and wet and all Alec wants is, _more, more and more_.

This is his first time making out with another person and he didn't know—he never knew that it could feel this good and he doesn't know how to convey to Magnus that he's losing his mind, this is ruining him and they're only making out and he is just so turned on. He never wants to stop, he wants to do this forever, he is burning from the inside out and _by the angel_ , he would happily burn if it meant that he could kiss Magnus forever. But he's never been good at words and all he can get out is a breathy " _Magnus,"_ against his lips before he kisses him again. Open and deep, their tongues sliding together and twisting deliciously together.

Alec leans forward as Magnus leans back until they are laying horizontally on the couch, hips slotted together and…. _oh_.

Alec can't help but shiver as their new position allows for their straining erections to slide together in delicious torture. He grinds down into Magnus the same time he pushes up and a shock rolls through his entire body, making his toes curl in pleasure. Alec pulls back from the kiss, hiding his face in Magnus' neck, panting into his skin as they moved desperately against each other.

Suddenly, the world shifts and Alec finds himself underneath Magnus and it's so much better. Magnus is moving on top of him, his hips making calculated circular motions making Alec see stars. Magnus looks beautiful like this, glamour dropped and cat eyes shining, Alec is completely at his mercy and he is one hundred percent ok with that. It's all good, so, _so_ , good.

\----------------

They’re panting against each other’s lips more than kissing now, moans drifting through the air as their bodies slide against one another creating the perfect friction. Alec’s eyes are closed in bliss and Magnus is in awe. He’s never seen Alec more beautiful than this. Hair and clothes disheveled, quick, breathy pants passing his pink, bitten lips, cheeks flushed; he looks like a fallen angel. Ethereal in his pleasure, and Magnus knows he ruined. In that exact moment, he knows that no one has or will _ever_ compare to his Alexander. Alec can take anything from him now, all he had to do is ask and Magnus would give everything.

Magnus' breath hitches, because he didn't mean to fall this fast, he should be scared, he should care that he opened his heart so quickly after a century of being so closed off, but he doesn't, he couldn't care if he tried. Alec was everything.

So instead of dwelling, Magnus let himself feel.

Underneath him, Alec is gone, really gone and it's beautiful. The flush of pleasure tints his cheeks, his face conveying pure bliss. And fuck, Magnus is so thankful for this world, for it letting him be alive and walking at the same time as Alexander Lightwood.

He can feel himself get close to the edge and he should be embarrassed how fast he has gotten there but he's not, Alec has always been able to pull the most surprising reactions out of him. "Fuck, Alec, I'm close," Magnus pants out, blindly reaches for Alec's hand, wanting to be connected in every way; the world is starting to blur around the edges and all Magnus can see Alec (and that's ok because that's all he ever wants to see in his life)

“ _Magnus,”_ Alec whimpers below him, before arching up, mouth open in pleasure as his orgasm washes over him and that does it for Magnus and he follows right behind, riding them both through the intense waves of pleasure.

\----------------

It takes them awhile to come down, but when they do Magnus quickly cleans them up with magic before succumbing to the post-orgasm haze and sinking into Alec’s arms, completely satisfied. They adjust a bit, so Magnus’ back is against Alec’s chest and bask in the afterglow for a few moments until Magnus breaks the silence, “Alexander, sweetheart, you good?”

Instead of replying Alec just hums a sweet, satisfied sound into his neck and Magnus can’t help but laugh out loud, “How about a nap then, hmm?”

“Yes, nap, sounds good.” Alec replies, his voice husky with sleep. He snuggles closer to Magnus, nosing at his neck, before tightening his arms around him and breathing out a quiet, “Goodnight Mags.”

Magnus smiles, his heart full and singing with happiness in his chest, “Goodnight, darling, sleep well,” and drops off to sleep as well.


	2. Love me Tender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't anything fancy, yet the way it happened was so utterly them. Or, Alec and Magnus' first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super late, but I have decided to make this into a collection of first. [To begin this one is dedicated to the amazing @PrettyboyyAlec on twitter. ](https://twitter.com/PrettyboyyAlec) I know i didn't reply to your comments, mostly because I was so overwhelmed by the response. Know that I read each one and appreciate everything, each one of you said. I am so grateful and I promise to get better at replying. But anyway, now to the story, a bunch of fluffy and a little bit of cute smut, enjoy ;)

Their first time wasn't anything big or extravagant, there were no rose petals littering the ground or an abundance of candles creating a romantic light. In fact, there was nothing like that, no cheesy romance, no red silky sheets, nothing. 

And when Alec really thinks about it, he's glad it happened the way it did. It wasn't how he planned it and it most definitely wasn't how Magnus had planned it, but it was so utterly them. 

\--------

It happens on a date night, him and Magnus finally have an evening to themselves, with Jace out, Alec being free of Institute duties and Magnus free of clients, anything was possible. So, they shop and drink and laugh. Alec even buys Magnus a little charm, one for luck and protection. It's not much and Alec was a little more than embarrassed when he presented the little gift Magnus, but then Magnus sent him this beautiful, soft smile and all his embarrassment melts away. 

They're relaxing on Magnus' balcony now, after their long but happily eventful day. It's kind of odd how they always end up there, not that Alec's complaining, he kind of likes how it's becoming their thing.

(The idea that he's been here enough, around Magnus for them to have _a Magnus and Alec thing_ makes him inexplicably happy.)

A wine glass in hand and Magnus leaning comfortably against him, the heat of his body warming Alec to his very core. He could honestly stay like this forever. He glances down at Magnus and sees he has his eyes closed and gentle smile on his face as he reclines against Alec's chest.  Alec feels privileged being able to see this side of him, he looks beautiful like this, bathed in the dim balcony lights, completely relaxed; he looks soft in a way someone would not associate with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

Before he can stop himself, Alec's leaning in, capturing' Magnus lips in his. Prompting a surprised but appreciative noise from Magnus as he recovers and kisses back. There is no heat to the kiss, just simple, comfortable intimacy and it makes Alec's heart jump. Because he never thought he could have this; a stable and healthy relationship with another man. It was always an impossible wish and yet here he was, in a relationship with a man he could see (feel) himself falling in love with.

The kiss turns heated fast, Alec tilts his head just as Magnus does and the kiss deepens. Their mouths devouring each other, desperate to taste. When they separate, they're both breathing heavily, Magnus quickly snaps his fingers and suddenly the wine glasses are on the table and their hands are free. They collide together once more, and Alec feels a shock of pure electricity run up his spine as Magnus licks into his mouth. He lets himself fall into the kiss, his body fitting perfectly with Magnus' making Alec dizzy with want. He pushes forward, biting at Magnus' lips, the want to taste him overwhelming.

He slides his hands up Magnus' shoulders as Magnus curls a hand under his jaw, stroking the skin there and Alec's cock starts to throb. He knows Magnus can feel it from the way he pushes against Alec, making a sharp sound against Alec's mouth. He's half hard too and gives a little grind of his hips into Alec's and Alec can't help but moan loudly.

He pushes Magnus until he's lying horizontally against the balcony sofa with Alec on top of him. His hips slotting perfectly with Magnus' providing a satisfying friction. Alec leant down once again, capturing Magnus' lips with his before moving his mouth down his chin and to his neck. Lavishing him in hot, wet kisses. He grinded his hips down, drawing a desperate moan out of his lover and proceeded to suckle at his collarbone, savouring the taste of the warlock under his tongue. He feels like he was meant for this; kissing Magnus, being with him. It should sound ridiculous but it doesn't because it's true.

This wasn't the first time they had done something like this, not by a long shot and Alec's familiar with the buzz of arousal that is nearly constant when he's around Magnus, but this time it somehow feels different. Every time Magnus touches him, his skin feels alight with fire. He can feel Magnus' heated skin under below his shirt but it's not enough, Alec wants more, he wants to feel Magnus’ golden skin glide against his as they take each other apart piece by piece.

But Alec doesn't know how to say how much he wants _\--needs_. All he can focus on is the slide of Magnus' body against his as they move together, panting into each other's mouths. Magnus slips his hands up into his hair and Alec caves, his body falling into Magnus' limply in bliss, his eyes rolling in pleasure as Magnus pulls and plays, "Gods, _fuck_ , Magnus." He was powerless when Magnus pulls his hair.

Magnus takes advantage of his boneless pleasure and hooks a foot around Alec's ankle, flipping them over. He pins Alec's wrists and kisses him deeply, Alec melts into the patio couch. He lets Magnus settle on top of his and take control as he moves his attention to Alec's neck; his tongue nipping and biting at Alec's deflect rune before soothing his bites with his tongue. Alec squirmed under him; Magnus' attention on his neck sending electric shocks south. He bucks his hips up in response to Magnus' ministrations and Magnus moans desperately against his neck.

"Fuck, _Alexander,_ " Magnus kisses him hard once more before sitting up properly, but before he can properly sit up, Alec chases him up until Magnus is straddled in his lap and they're face to face. They pause for a moment, staring at each other, golden against hazel; drinking each other in.

Alec lets his arms encircle Magnus, just as Magnus' hands go to caress Alec's face; in doing so, something _just right_ slots into place. Like this was where they were always supposed to be; wrapped in each other's arms. There was no other place in the world Alec would rather be then right there, with Magnus in his arms. It should be scary, the realization that Alec would do anything to stay here forever; that he would be completely content to give his everything to Magnus, even if it meant having nothing left, but it isn't, it's peaceful.

He's not sure who leans in first, but suddenly, they're kissing again. Deep, open and Alec feels like he's dying, he feels hot and tingly all over and it's _so, so good_ , he never wants to stop. He wants to breathe Magnus in completely; drown his senses everything he is. He wants Magnus, all him _, so_ badly, and he wants to communicate that, he wants to tell Magnus how much he wants him; how much Alec wants to be with Magnus in every way, but, when they part for air, all Alec can get out is a desperate "Gods, Magnus, _please_."

Magnus strokes his hair, "Yes, Alexander, darling, what do you want?"

"I-I want everything, with you, I—I want it all, god, Magnus _please_." Alec was practically begging now, desperate to feel Magnus, all of him. When Magnus didn't respond right away though, Alec starts to panic, "Um I mean, if that's what you want, because if you don't it's ok too—"

"Alexander," Magnus interrupts, "it would be my absolute honour, if you're sure."

"I am, Magnus, I want this, I want—I want you to make love to me." With those words, Alec is gifted with a brilliant smile and he's getting kissed once more. On his cheeks, his eyes, his nose, his forehead, chin and finally Magnus kisses him deep on the lips, his tongue desperate in his mouth.

Magnus pushes into him, pressing them together as much as possible in their position. The fire of arousal is somehow burning brighter than before and Alec's hip buck up involuntarily, in effort to grind into Magnus. He can feel Magnus' heart pound in tandem with his and, _fuck_ , Alec is so gone for this beautiful man before him, _so goddamn gone_. Magnus pulls back, just for a second and Alec can't help but chase after him, the need to be connected almost overwhelming. Magnus looks at him for a second, his cat eyes glowing with sharp arousal and something Alec can't—refuses to name and fuck, _fuck_ , Alec can barely remember how to breathe.

Magnus leans back in, kissing him, again, again and again, Alec's hands fist into the back of shirt, "Fuck, Magnus, please, oh god, I want you to fuck me— _please_ I need you Magnus—"

"Yes," Magnus says, his voice hoarse and deep from the kisses," Alexander, let's—" his breathe hitches as Alec grinds up and kisses his pulse point, "—bedroom, let's go to the bedroom." Alec nods jerkily and Magnus is shakily pulling Alec to his feet and they're back to kissing as they stumble inside towards Magnus' bedroom, their jackets and shirts being shed along the way.

\-----------

Once in the bedroom, Magnus pushed Alec onto the bed before climbing on top of him. He grabs at Alec's hands, interlacing their fingers as he bows down to thoroughly kiss Alec. It's such a small gesture, one that has been repeated by them one hundred times, yet Alec still sees stars. Magnus breaks the kiss and dives down, sloppily kissing down Alec's neck and collarbone, before moving down to his chest and nipples. Alec can feel himself flush at the feel of Magnus' tongue licking his sensitive nipples before moving down to his abs.

"Gods, Alexander, you're perfect," Magnus whispers into his skin and Alec squirms at his words, "seriously, _darling_ , these abs, I could worship all day if I were allowed."

Alec whines and bucks his hips up.

Magnus laughs a little, "Maybe another time then." He moves down to Alec's pants and the tension of the room spikes up, Magnus is so, so close where Alec wants him, just not close enough, he needs more, right now. Magnus pauses and looks up at him through his lashes, "Are you sure my love?" Alec's breath catches and he nods, he's never wanted something so bad in his life.

With his consent, Magnus has Alec's pants off in no time, along with his own and for a moment Magnus just pauses; staring at Alec's pale naked body while Alec tries his best not to curl up and squirm. Then Magnus shakes his head, a small smile gracing his face as he breathless exclaims, " _Oh Alexander,_ I've caught myself a beautiful little angel, haven't I?"

Alec flushes all the way down his body at those words and Magnus laughs, peppering his stomach in kisses, "So it does go down all the way then." Alec can feel himself redden even more and he can hear Magnus' breath catch, "God, you are beautiful Alexander. I am going to take such good care of you darling, I promise. You are going to see stars."

Alec just nods and Magnus smirks before reaching down to press one magically lubed finger to Alec's opening, making him gasp out loud, and push down; moaning wantonly at the intrusion. Magnus worked one finger in, working it slow in Alec, "Oh god, Magnus, I need more, please." Magnus groans adds another and then a third before angling just so he hits a particularly sensitive spot in Alec, who screws his eyes tight at the pleasure and grinded down onto his lover’s fingers. It was all so good, but Alec wanted more, he wanted to feel Magnus entirely; he wants to Magnus drive in and out of him so hard that Alec feels it the next day in his meetings at the Institute, he wants Magnus to take him, all of him.

"Mag—Magnus, I need you to fuck me" Alec stutters, it's more of a whine than he means it to be but Alec is past the point of caring, he needed Magnus in him, right now.

"Alexander, are you sur—"

"I have never been so sure of something in my life, I promise," Alec rushes out, "I'm ready, _please_ , I need you."

Magnus nods in response and gently removes his fingers from Alec's ass; making him feel a little empty as he clenches around nothing and lubes up his cock before settling until he's hovering over Alec. He then carefully guides his cock to Alec's entrance. He enters him slowly, little by little, letting Alec adjust to the large intrusion, his hands find themselves on either side of Alec’s head and Alec feels contently overwhelmed as his senses are overtaken by everything that is Magnus. The push into him burns at first but as Alec gets used to it; his insides lighting up in pleasure-pain.

Once he's fully seated in Alec, Magnus stops. He's shaking, Alec can see his muscles vibrate with effort to not lose control yet Magnus still doesn't move, he just hovers over Alec, breath harsh and cat eyes shining as they bore into Alec's hazels. In that moment, Alec swears he's never seen a sight so beautiful. Magnus' golden skin is shining with sweat, his hair damp across his forehead, his strong muscles on display and make up smudged under his eyes; he looks ethereal, a god among mortals.

Alec lifts his hands to Magnus face, carefully caressing his cheeks and he hears Magnus' sharp intake of breath. He smiles gently and pulls Magnus into a delicate kiss, before saying in barely a whisper, "you can move."

At those words, Magnus' hips stuttered forward punching a surprised moan out of Alec. The previous slight pain disappearing, instead being replaced with something bright, beautiful and delicious. Magnus pauses, a question in his eyes and Alec smiles, inclining his head _I'm okay_ , a playful smirk lit up his face and he started moving once again with more purpose, reducing Alec into a mess of moans, writhing pleasurably beneath him.

_ By the angel _ , if Alec could describe this moment; him spread out against the bedsheets, hands grasping at Magnus, who was curled over him as he pounded into Alec deliciously hard, hot breathe against his neck, with Alec's skin buzzing with something akin to sunlight, all he would be able to say is that it was pure and utter heaven; and he never wanted it to end. But he knew he wasn't going to last long, with every thrust Magnus was hitting his prostate and Alec's release was so close he could taste it. He can feel Magnus lose control above him, he knew he was close, his well-aimed thrusts were becoming erratic and _god_ , Alec just need a little bit more.

"Magnus, _ah god,_ I'm so close, _please,_ don't stop, I need--"

"Shhh, it’s ok, that's it my darling, come for me, _my beautiful angel_ , come for me." With those words, Alec was done, he let himself lose control, back arching as he screamed his lover’s name; feeling Magnus follow right behind him and for a split second everything is blue.

\-----------

It takes them awhile to get back to themselves and cleaned up. They stay suspended in time for a moment, Magnus still hovering, barely, above him, his forehead against Alec's, chests heaving in unison as wide smiles creeping onto their faces as they stare at each other, lost in the afterglow. Alec knew he would be content to stay in this exact moment forever.

That is until he felt something furry moving against his ankle. He glanced down, only to see Chairman Meow nuzzle his foot, then Magnus' and then proceed to settle down, curled up on the bed with his eyes closed. And really, there was nothing Alec could do but laugh, laugh and laugh and then, Magnus was joining him, laughing just as hard. His body falling into Alec's as they lay entangled, because of course the Chairman _had_ to ruin that nice afterglow with his need for attention.

They finally settle down with their bellies aching and cheeks red with joy and lapse into silence, Magnus sprawled, a warm comfort on top Alec as he strokes his hands down the warlock's back. The adrenaline seeping away, leaving behind a soft happiness.

It isn't until Alec's suspended in the world between wakefulness and sleep that he has a thought.

"Magnus?" He asks softly.

"Hmmmm?" Magnus replies, his voice thick with drowsiness.

"Do you think the Chairman watched us have sex? For the first time? Because that's slightly creepy, and a lot scarring. I don’t know how I feel about it."

His words startle a laugh out of Magnus and Alec swears it's a serious concern, he tries to school his features, but he's laughing again too, because Magnus is and he loves when Magnus laughs, although it is much quieter than before, Alec can feel the stitches in his side.

Once they calm down, again, Magnus whispers, fond "Alexander, sweetheart, as much as this is a concern, can we discuss this after a much-needed nap?"

Alec smiles, "Yeah I guess, a nap does sound good." Magnus hums and snuggles closer into him as a blanket magically settles over them and Alec nuzzles his face into Magnus' hair, his arms tight around his lover's waist.

He feels Magnus' breathing slow down and he starts to drift as well, but right before he drops off completely he hears muffled words whispered into his neck that sound oddly like " _I love you."_

_ And by the angel, _ __ Alec thinks, his last thought for a little while, _he has never felt so happy in his life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little chapter my lovelies, I had a hard time writing it to be honest, but regardless I want to thank you all for giving me a chance and reading my work, you are special, all of you and I love you. btw any ideas what should come next in their lists of first?? ;)


	3. Suspended in Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Alec and Magnus wake up in bed for the first time and Alec is ticklish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, this is a long time coming. But here we are, finally, this chapter is dedicated to my beautiful Parabatai, Melek aka [@PrettyboyyAlec](https://twitter.com/PrettyboyyAlec) She is my inspiration, this is for you my love. Some super soft domestic boyfriends ;)

Magnus has never been a fan of waking up early, he was never good at it. Since as long as he could remember, he would try to laze around in bed for a little while after he wakes up and take in the world around him before venturing out into reality. Today was no different, Magnus is suspended in between the land of the awake and dreams, he can feel the soft rays of sun hitting his face, there is a comfortable cocoon of warmth surrounding him, keeping him soft and pliant. Magnus feels relaxed and refreshed and satisfied deep in his bones; he never wants to move.

But then something; or rather someone shifts behind him, snuffling a little before stilling and Magnus blinks and then blinks once more and feels his mouth tug into a smile as the night before comes flooding back into his mind. It had been the first time Alec stayed the night, in his bed, and _god what a magical thing it had been_.

It has been a very long time, almost a century since Magnus properly shared his bed, sure he shared it briefly with many a people, chasing his pleasure, however brief, but this, sharing a bed _with Alexander_ , it felt different. A good different.

Slowly, Magnus turned over, shifting quietly in order to face Alec and his breath caught in his throat. Alec was sprawled on his back, pale skin, stark against he deep red sheets; his runes, a midnight black highlighted by the early summer light. His hair was a mess and his dark eyelashes brushing his cheeks, his pink pouty lips, still a little kiss swollen, were parted as he breathed in and out; it was moments like these where Magnus had no trouble believing in the angel blood that ran through Alec's veins, he looked like a fallen angel, perfectly at home in Magnus' bed.

Before he could stop himself, Magnus reached out, carefully resting his palm on Alec's chest, right over his heart.  His heartbeat was steady, a calm and satisfying beat from a strong, young heart, a comfort beneath Magnus' fingers.

He could feel his own heartbeat, pumping double the speed of Alec's in his chest, an old heart trying to keep up with the overwhelming affection threatening to overtake Magnus' every sense; he was old, and his heart; an ancient thing, a fragile instrument of its own, one torn apart over and over again, only to be stitched back together, albeit sloppily and messy, never quite whole, again and again. But in this moment, and really _any moment_ , with Alec, Magnus swears he could feel his heart mending. His sharp, broken shards, breaking out of their mismatched stitching and melting together once more; softer, brighter, and more _whole_ than it has been in centuries.

A soft giggle broke out between Magnus lips at the feeling of lightness rising up in him and before he could raise a hand to his mouth to quiet himself, Alec stirred and Magnus froze, scared he had woken his beautiful angel from his peaceful slumber. But instead of waking, Alec just let out a sleepy (and utterly adorable) sigh and turned onto his side, taking Magnus' hand that was still on his chest with him, and cuddling it close, resulting in Magnus being dragged along and getting pinned against Alec's warm back with his arm trapped. This time Magnus did nothing to contain the laughter bursting from him.

This was ridiculous, he tried to pry his arm away and stealthily as he could without waking his sleeping boyfriend, but to no avail. Alec just shifted lightly before burrowing in deeper into the bed.

Magnus sighed lightly, resigning himself to his fate, he let himself be trapped and relished in the warm heat of Alec, burying his face into the soft skin of his elegant neck. Content to soak in the quiet peace.

Until an idea came to him.

Magnus nuzzled at Alec's neck, lightly kissing his deflect rune, hoping to at least rouse Alec, but when Alec didn't even so much as move, Magnus moved his lips up, pressing small kisses up to his ear, then lightly mouthing at it before whispering, quiet and gently, "Alexander, _sweetheart,_ time to wake up."

Alec snuffled in response, his eyebrows furrowed and he scrunched his nose up, for a moment Magnus thought he had finally woken him up, his eyes stayed firmly shut. Magnus narrowed his eyes and more determined than ever, he bowed his head and latched his lips onto Alec's shoulder, sucking a hickey, feeling Alec squirm under his lips at the sensation.

" _Mhmmm,_ Magnus."

Finally a reaction! Magnus lifted his head beaming, Alec's head was turned slightly towards him, Magnus' arm still in his grip, his messy hair and tired eyes making quite the picture.

"Good morning, darling."

Alec narrowed his eyes, "Wha'dya doinn?"

Magnus chuckled and pulled back a little so he could properly see his angel's face, "What does it look like sweetheart? I'm waking you up."

A cute little frown found it's way onto Alec's face, as if offended by the very idea, "Noooo, guh away, I wanna sleeep."

Magnus couldn't help but let out a laugh as Alec once again turned away, he'd been doing that a lot lately, laughing; this morning alone even, there was something so giddy about being around Alec, he was a breath of fresh air, in a world that aims to suffocate.

"Why're you laughing?" Alec's eyes were back on him, the morning light illuminating his tired hazel eyes. He seemed oblivious of his grip still on Magnus and Magnus could only shake his head fondly, Alec in the morning was quickly becoming his favorite new thing.

"Because you're adorable, my sweet angel."

Alec glared at him over his shoulder, in what Magnus assumed was supposed to be intimidating, but ended up making him look all the more cuter, "I am _not_ adorable, I am sleepy, lemme sleep."

He turned back into the pillows, nuzzling in close as he shut his eyes and _oh no_ that would not do, not in Magnus' books. So with mischievous smirk, Magnus pounced on top of Alec, as well as he could anyway, he ended up awkwardly draped half on top of him, but it didn't stop Magnus, he has always loved a challenge, he shifted so he was properly on top of Alec, moved so Alec was flat on his back, blinking confusedly up at him and he attacked.

Trailing kisses up the side of Alec's face, "Why, would," to his forehead, "you want to sleep?" and then to his eyelids, "When you could spend time with me?" down to his nose, cheeks and chin; he left soft kisses wherever he could reach, until Alec's frown breaks and he's giggling underneath Magnus' ministrations _.  Actually giggling_ , and gods if Magnus didn't want to bottle that sound forever.  When he finally pulled back, Magnus had to pause. Alec was staring up at him, a grin lighting up his face; his hazel eyes glittering happily. He looked positively edible, Magnus couldn't help but lean in once more, this time pressing a kiss onto Alec's rosy lips, getting a satisfied hum in response. _Gods this man was perfect._

Magnus let his hands trail down Alec's body, a slow, feather-light touch, carefully categorizing each and every plane of Alec's lean, but strongly built body, his eyes admiring as he grazed down his angel's body. He lets his nails scrap softly against Alec's abs ( _gorgeous, perfect abs_ ) and he's about to make a comment about those abs; maybe something a little flirty, when he hears it. _A small squeak_ , from Alec's mouth. Magnus head snapped up, Alec's eyes are wide and everything, for one moment is frozen, then Magnus is laughing as Alec flushes an attractive pink.

" _Oh my God!"_ Magnus gasps between bouts of laughter, "I _can't_ believe it, you're _ticklish_!"

Now Alec is frantically shaking his head in denial, blush still prominent on his cheeks, "I am _not_ ticklish, that was just--it was just an involuntary action from your nails!"

Magnus is full out grinning now, "You definitely are ticklish darling _, you, big, bad, mean Shadowhunter Alec_ , is ticklish."

Alec huffed, "Am not!"

Magnus smirked, "Mhmmmm, well then I _guess_ I'm just going to have to test it then _."_

"No! No Magnus--" Alec frantically protested, but it was too late, Magnus skimmed Alec's side lightly, getting another squeak out of him, and he did it again, and again until he was full out tickling him, making Alec squirm under him. " _Magnus!"_ Alec exclaimed, laughter clear in his voice, "No, please, _stoppppp."_

"Never!" Magnus teased, his fingers dancing across Alec's skin, pulling bright, infectious laughter from the underneath him. 

 _And what a sight it was_. Alec's cheeks were flushed, his eyes crinkling delightfully as the bouts of laughter, a sound that filled Magnus to the brim with affection, fell from his plump, smiling lips. There was something soft and innocent-- and extremely addicting about Alec like this; almost childlike. He looked free and radiant, unburdened by the world's harsh realities, Magnus was tempted to stay in this moment forever, suspended in the light sunlight; safe from the outside world, their hearts light, but full. However, he knew he couldn't, the day would eventually have to start, but Magnus was damned if he wasn't gonna drag this out for as long as he could.

Finally, Magnus relented, with a wide smile and a belly hurting from laughter, he let himself watch, completely enraptured as Alec drew in breath after breath into his lungs as he tried to calm down. _He was falling in love with this man_. The thought came unbidden and sudden to Magnus, but it didn't at all scare him. In fact, it calmed him, he was falling in love with Alexander Lightwood and it felt good, it felt _right_. The man below him, _his angel_ ; beautiful, smart, honest, was different, Magnus felt it in his very bones. He was going to completely change Magnus' world, his entire life, he already has really, and all Magnus could do was stare at _his_ Alexander and smile. _And it felt good_.

"Hey!"

Magnus was broken out of his admiration by Alec, who was looking at him expectantly, "Yes, darling?"

"What're you staring at?"

Magnus smiled softly, _if only you knew_ , he leaned in and kissed the tip of Alec's nose, "You, sweetheart, because you're so beautiful."

Alec rolled his eyes, not even bothering to hide his happy grin, "Shut up Magnus, and will you please kiss me properly, on the lips?"

Magnus chuckled, "Gladly, my darling."

And he leaned in, pressing in close, tasting the sunshine on Alec's lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed it lovelies, also special thank you to syd and madi and the ydm for putting up with my constant mess of ideas. See you soon lovelies. xo. Sammy


	4. The Picture of Autumn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec decide to take a nap, at work. Because they deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little chapter, is for my darling girls, Syd and Madi. Madi, my sunshine goddess, thank you for being my hypewoman, mi amor; mon amour, je t'aime and Syd, my Magnus Bane, wifey, never change; love you. Thank you for always listening to my messy brain and being my stars. Ily. Also special shoutout to YDM; my angels. 
> 
> Also, to my awesome writing buddy, [Nin](https://twitter.com/ninwrites) , you are the best, thank you for looking over this, you are a gift.
> 
> To all my readers, this is for you.

It's a beautiful autumn day as Magnus makes his way to the Institute. The sun is shining warmly and there is a certain crispness to the air that wraps around Magnus, seeping pleasantly into his bones, refreshing and bright. He's always loved autumn, there was something so calming about it. The warm colours, sweater weather, all the fall looks and hot drinks, and of course Halloween, it ignites this light in Magnus' soul.

Autumn was something special, sure it was before winter, but there was a certain magic that drifted through the air; inspiring a certain self-renewing happiness in one's soul. Magnus has always felt like autumn gave you the chance to shed the troubles and attitudes of the year; like the leaves off a tree, and let yourself heal during winter, emerging a new, better person in spring.

This was Magnus' season, he couldn't help feel a sense of determination well up in his soul filling him with new energy and desire; to laugh, to breathe, _to live_ , and the fact that he was going to see his Alexander bathed the world in a slight golden tinge.

\------

He walked into the Institute with an excited bounce in his step, the prospect of seeing Alec always somehow lifting his spirits high above the clouds.

He walks towards Alec's office, _his Alexander's **office**_ , the Head of the Institute, Magnus smiled to himself, proud. He would never tire of that fact, there was no one in this universe more deserving than Alec for that position. Alec was gonna change the world as the head, with Magnus by his side. And Magnus, Magnus can already taste the victory on his tongue.  They were going to be unstoppable.

But even the unstoppable need down time.

So, Magnus walks up to Alec's office with intent to whisk him away for lunch, perhaps somewhere in Spain or Austria but when he gets there his heart lurches to his throat.

Alec is bent over his desk, intently writing, completely oblivious to everything around him. The sun, golden, filling the room with a soft warm glow, falling prettily over his angel, illuminating the stark black of his runes against his pale skin and playing delicately over his concentrated features, softening his sharp cheekbones and jaw. The door to his balcony was open a crack and the light breeze ruffled lightly through his messy hair, making it fall over his forehead, and still he didn't budge; a marble statue, bathed in the sun.

Magnus couldn't help but just lean against the doorframe, if only for a moment, to admire this beautiful man, who he has the privilege of calling his boyfriend.

When Alec still doesn't notice him, Magnus drums his ringed fingers against the wooden door frame, and Alec's head shoots up in surprise, but as soon as he sees Magnus, the surprise melts into a wide smile, and Magnus' heart stutters at the reaction. It never fails to make him warm inside that no matter the minute, hour or day, Alec always seems so happy to see him. The green of his eyes were lit up by the sun, creating an endless forest that Magnus would contently lose himself in for eternity.

He smiled back, advancing toward Alec, his voice a teasing purr, "You didn't even hear me come in, _tsk tsk_ , Shadowhunter, you must always be vigilant."

Alec laughed lightly and instead of replying just reached out for him, pulling Magnus into him until Alec had his arms around Magnus' waist and his face buried in Magnus' stomach.

Magnus smiled softly and threaded his hands through Alec's messy hair and leaned down, placing a soft kiss into his hair, "Hello to you too, darling."

Alec nuzzled into him, "hmmm hi Mags, I missed you."

Magnus smiled, his angel was too cute, "I missed you too, baby."

Magnus could feel Alec smile into his stomach, "What are you doing here today? I thought you had clients all day."

"I do, but I have a break and thought I would pay you a visit for lunch, my love."

Alec pulled back slightly, raising his head to glance up at Magnus, a grin on his face, "Oh ok, good, cuz I am starving."

Magnus laughed, shaking his head fondly, "Of course you are. Come on now, get up then, let's go get some food, I swear that stomach of yours is a bottomless pit."

Alec grinned once more, nuzzling into Magnus once more before letting him go and standing up too. He leaned in once again, giving Magnus a quick kiss on the lips, before pulling back with a satisfied smile.

Magnus smiled back briefly, before noticing the dark rings under his boyfriend's eyes, and the tiredness, radiating clearly from his body. He frowned, concerned. He brought his hand up to caress Alec's cheek, "I was going to suggest going out, but darling, you seem tired, you've been overworking yourself, haven't you?"

Alec shook his head, smirking lightly, making a sound of dismissal, "It's ok, besides it's not like I have a choice, with everything that's happening, Valentine may be gone, but the paperwork isn't."

Magnus laughed softly, "That's what happens when you're a leader, people make it sound so glamourous, but it's really just a lot of paperwork and stress isn't it?"

Alec smiled, "You've been working hard too babe," he moved closer, grabbing Magnus at the waist and pulling until he was flush against Alec, "even the untouchable High Warlock of Brooklyn needs rest."

Magnus brought his hands to Alec's shoulders, stroking them self-indulgently and leaned up, brushing noses with Alec, a smile clear in his voice, "Look at us, Head of the New York Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn, we make quite the team."

Alec closed the distance, briefly brushing their lips, "Hmmm, quite the _exhausted_ , team."

"Hmm, that is very true my love, so," Magnus leaned up kissing Alec a little deeper, 'let's just order in then, and _chill_ in your office, sound good?"

Alec nodded absently, gaze focused on Magnus' lips and mumbled a quick "mhmm, yep, good plan," before capturing Magnus' lips with own with a passionate force, arms wrapping fully around his waist; kissing him deep and honest.

Magnus laughed against his lips, and rocked back into the kiss, the warmth of Alec's kiss ensnaring all of Magnus' senses, plunging him into an ocean of everything Alec, it was dangerously addicting.

They swayed in almost a dance, drinking each other in, letting themselves get lost in each other, if only for a few moments. Until Magnus remembered that as much they wanted to, they couldn't lose themselves just yet, they only had so much time before work started once again. So, he pulled back, giggling as Alec chased him, frowning when Magnus stepped back all the way, as if not understanding why he couldn't keep kissing Magnus, "Food, sweetheart, and then kisses, ok?"

Alec frowned even more, and gods, he was just so cute, Magnus couldn't help but give in and lean in again, kissing him again, quick and chaste on the lips, before prompting him, "Ok Alexander?"

Alec sighed and barely suppressing his smile, nodded.

Magnus nodded back, satisfied, "Any preference on where I order from?"

Alec shook his head, and declared with a lopsided smile, "Surprise me."

Magnus pulled out his phone and dialed the number to their favourite Japanese restaurant and looked to see Alec staring at him, confused, "What?"

Alec chuckled, "Why are you using your phone? When you can just--" he did a bunch of wavy hand motions with his hands, in what Magnus assumed was supposed to imitate his magic, "--and the food appears."

"First of all, I _do_ not look like that when doing magic--" Magnus exclaimed, he liked to believe he was more graceful than whatever rain dance Alec had been attempting.

"You do, Mags," Alec replied, grinning ear-to-ear.

Magnus gasped, " _Alexander_ , I am _offended_ , I am the very definition of grace and perfection."

Alec laughed out loud at that, "Oh _, ok_ , right, grace and perfection, of course, _mhmm_. Says the man who accidentally drank a shape-shifting potion instead of your coffee, that was clearly in your coffee cup, and became an admittedly cute cat, but still _, a cat,_ for 20 minutes."

"That was a long time ago!" Magnus exclaimed.

"Babe, that was last week." Alec deadpanned.

Magnus narrowed his eyes, "Fine, if you're gonna be like that, no sex for you tonight."

Alec's eyes widened and Magnus crossed his arms, feeling quite satisfied with his answer until he saw Alec pouting, and his heart stuttered in his chest, because really, no one should look that cute, especially not his big, bad Shadowhunter that kills demons for a living. Yet here he was, full on _pouting_ at Magnus; his hazel doe eyes, wide and innocent, his rosy bottom lip jutted out, because Magnus said no to sex.

"Oh, no, nuh uh, do _not_ pout at me like that, you caused this." Magnus was determined to keep his steel resolve, no matter how adorable Alexander was.

But then Alec bit his lip, in a way that was too inviting to not be intentional, his eyelashes fluttering just the tiniest bit and just like that, Magnus was done. He let out a long-suffered sigh, accepting that he was always gonna give in because he really was never going to be able to say no to his Alexander and pulled him in, kissing him deep, tasting the self-satisfied smile, he knew Alec was wearing, before lightly pulling his lip between his teeth, sucking lightly and then pulling away completely. Feeling a little smug at the dilation of Alec's pupils.

Alec cleared his throat, "So, is that a yes to sex tonight?"

Magnus rolled his eyes good-naturedly and laughed, "Yes, it's a yes, _but_ , only because it would be beneficial to me as well."

Alec smirked, "That's awfully selfish of you."

Magnus smirked back, "I'm a selfish man. Especially when it comes to my pleasure."

Alec shook his head, laughing, he pulled Magnus into a tight hug, "No you're not," he said softly, "you're the least selfish person I've ever met _, especially_ , when it comes to your pleasure, you always give, give and give, before you take." Magnus melted at the soft honesty in Alec's voice, so different from the teasing one before, letting Alec's strong arms encompass him, instilling a peace in him like no other.

He sighed dazedly, "You really know how to charm a man, Alexander," and nuzzled into the comforting smell of his boyfriend's jacket, "I need to order the food."

Alec dropped a kiss into his hair, seemingly content where he was and Magnus relented, and they stood there for awhile, just breathing, two forces of nature, calmed in each other arms. Until Alec's stomach rumbled loudly and Magnus' right after, just as loud, as if in response, and suddenly they were laughing, because somehow even their stomachs were in sync _(just like their hearts, their souls)._

Magnus can't remember the last time he laughed at something so simple, but it seems with Alec, all he can seem to do is laugh. Being with Alec, it lifted him up, made his old soul seemingly unburdened by the scars of the past; shiny and new. It inspired a brightness in him and it felt something akin to freedom.

They finally calmed down enough, their bellies aching pleasantly from unexpected joy. Magnus looked over to Alec, admiring how the warm light of the sun, beautifully illuminating the happiness etched in his smile. With his skin buzzing with light, Magnus smiled right back, his heart in his throat, he would never get used to this, _to Alexander_ , it would always surprise him, with how young and giddy he made Magnus feel. He made Magnus want to change, to be better, to love better, to _live_ better. Just seeing him smile lit Magnus up, from the inside out, making Magnus wanna say something foolish like maybe _I love you--Iloveyousomuch._

Because he did, he was doomed from the moment those words _I trust you_ , were first uttered into the air of his loft, quiet but firm. Magnus hadn't known then, not really, that his entire life would change, but he's glad for it, everyday. He feels renewed; alive. And maybe right now, it's a little too soon to say, _those three words_ , but one day, maybe one like this, he won't be able to hold back. It was inevitable, those three little ( _biggest_ ) words will come tumbling out of his mouth, along with his heart and right at Alec's feet and he'll be completely at Alec's mercy, chest open and vulnerable, and he knows without a doubt, Alec will pick up his heart, and take care of him, oh so well. But that's not today, today he doesn't say those words, no matter how much he wants too, instead he says, " I should really order that food."

Alec chuckled, "Still gonna use the phone to order it then?"

"Yes," Magnus replied, indignant, a smile still in his voice, "You know how Jin is, that grumpy old man, he likes when I call in before I summon the food myself."

Alec's eyes lit up, "We're getting Japanese food?"

Magnus shook his head fondly, knowing just how much Alec liked it.

"Yes honey, we are, but calm yourself, you look like you've just won the lottery." He teased.

Alec just smiled, lopsided and excited, "Jin makes the best _kare raisu_ ok, he's a kitchen genius, every time I eat it, I feel like I've won the lottery."

Magnus snorted, "You're such a dork."

Alec shrugged nonchalantly as if to agree and Magnus, rolling his eyes, pulled out his phone. Dialing the well used number, he waited for an answer. When Jin finally picked up, Magnus fired off, speaking rapid Japanese as he paced the room. He was so lost in his conversation, he didn't notice as Alec stalked up behind him, encircling Magnus' waist with his strong arms and pulling him against his chest to stop him from pacing, and nuzzling into his neck.

This elicited a quiet amused laugh from Magnus, who quickly says his goodbyes and tilted his head to look at his boyfriend, a teasing smile on his face, "Well aren't you feeling cuddly today."

Alec hums and turns his face back into Magnus' shoulder, "I just like being close to my boyfriend do you mind?" he mumbles against the fabric of Magnus' sweater, "and I also like your outfit."

Magnus laughs delightfully, "I thought you would, this is your sweater after all, but sweetheart, I know you, you're tired, and when you're tired you get cuddly."

"Nuh-uh, not tired, you just have this gravity, that pulls me towards you, I'm never close enough."

Magnus heart skipped a beat, his angel really was too much, he twisted in Alec's arms to face him, "Sweetheart, that may have been poetic, but don't think you can bullshit out of this one. I know you." he kissed Alec's nose, playful yet firm, and moved out of his arms, and going to check his flashing phone. "Looks like food is done." With one quick movement, Magnus snapped his fingers and the food was laid out on the coffee table. He glanced back at Alec, a smile on his face, gesturing, "shall we eat?"

They moved to the sofa, immediately digging in to their food, quickly quelling the hunger in their stomachs.

"Ugh, this is so _good_ , I told you Mags, Jin is an artist in the kitchen."

Magnus scoffed into his rice, "If he's so perfect, why don't you date him instead."

Alec made a noise of discontent and Magnus glanced over at him, to find Alec already looking him.

"But why would I do that? When I already have you?" Alec cocked his head, questioning.

Magnus merely raised his eyebrows.

"It's true, I don't need anyone else," Alec shrugged, leaning in closer to Magnus, "no matter how good they are in the kitchen, you're perfect, for me, you're all I'll ever need."

Magnus was struck speechless, Alec quirked his lips up and went back to his food, as if what he said didn't just hit Magnus right in the chest, making him ache, right down to his bones, _IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou--_ Magnus lunged forward, and kissed Alec, hard, passionate and fast.

"What was that for?" Alec asked breathlessly once Magnus pulled away.

Magnus blushed, "Uh, you had a little curry on you lips."

Alec smirked, playing along, "So you had to kiss it off."

Magnus shrugged, smiling right back, "Couldn't let it go to waste."

Alec threw his head back, laughing and Magnus breathed it in, letting the sound wash over him like a wave. He could listen to Alec laugh forever, especially if he is the one to pull that enchanting sound out of him.

Once calmed down, Alec looked back at Magnus, a soft smile gracing his pink, plumps. A stray lock of his hair had fallen onto his forehead, making him look young; as young as he should. It was always easy to forget that fact. How young Alec was, with everything they've been through, the life, death and heartbreak, Alec stood strong. Yet here, in this quiet moment, Magnus could see the exhaustion in his eyes plain as day. "Sweetheart, you need to rest." He reached up, brushing the lock off his forehead, and running his fingers through Alec's hair, making him close his eyes, humming in satisfaction.

Alec titled towards Magnus, only stopping to push his nose into Magnus' shoulder, "but you promised kisses. And work, we have work."

Magnus continued to stroked Alec's hair, "Hmmm, I did, you're right, we have plenty of time for kisses after, and don’t worry about work Alexander, darling, sleep is more important. Take a quick nap, hm? For me?"

Alec's body released all tension, completely relaxing under Magnus' touch gentle touch, and Magnus knew he had him, "I guess you're right. Ok, fineeee."

Magnus chuckled softly, "I know I’m right, I usually always am." He turned his head, quickly depositing a kiss into Alec's hair, "now come on, let's get that jacket off, you'll be more comfortable."

Alec pulled back, taking his jacket off as Magnus cleared the food quickly.

Magnus shifted so he was laying on the couch and opened his arms to Alec, "Come here baby."

And like that, Alec fell into him, burrowing in as close as possible, wrapping his arms around Magnus' middle and laying his head on his chest, humming contently at the sound of Magnus' heartbeat. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec, one stroking his hair and the other rubbing up and down his back, a motion, Magnus knew never failed to calm Alec.

"M' not crushing you right?" Alec asked, voice muffled by Magnus' sweater.

"No, darling, don't worry." Alec was by no means a small man, he was tall and lean; all corded muscle. Yet all Magnus felt was warm, Alec's weight on top of him was a comfort, if anything. A reminder, that Alec is his to love and care for. Sure, he was a little heavy, but Magnus would bear his weight happily, for as long as he's allowed. There was something sacred, something worth treasuring, about Alec falling asleep, especially with him. Shadowhunters were light sleepers, they never slept much, and when they did, it was in the secured lock of their rooms, and yet here Magnus was, holding a sleepy Shadowhunter in arms, and Magnus felt honoured. Alec, _his Alexander_ , trusted him enough to fall asleep, out in the open. He trusted _Magnus_ to take care of him _, to protect him_ and Magnus will _always_ do his best to exactly that. Alec was his in every way, and he was Alec's and there was nothing, _nothing_ , Magnus wouldn't do for him.

"Mmmm, ok good," Alec mumbled sleepily, "You sleep too Mags, you deserve it-- I mean you deserve more than a simple nap, you deserve everything, but—"

Magnus smiled softly, shushing his angel, "Shhh, darling, sleep."

Alec lifted his head slightly, and smiled up at Magnus, eyes cloudy, but adoring, "g'night Mags."

"Goodnight, my angel."

Alec laid a soft kiss to Magnus' chest, and snuggled in closer. Soon, his breathing slowed, his body completely relaxing as sleep stole him away into the land of dreams. Magnus looked down at the man in his arms, feeling his own eyes get heavy, he looked breathtaking like this. Face relaxed in sleep, eyelashes, delicate spider-webs grazing his high cheekbones, rosy lips parted, his hair a windswept mess, the warm sun, cast golden over him, he looked the picture of coziness.

 _The picture of autumn_.

It was a thought that struck Magnus suddenly, but it rang true.

Alec was like autumn, he was a breath of fresh air; cool and refreshing, opening Magnus up, expanding his lungs, letting him breathe. He was the soft sunlight shining on your face on a nice day, warming Magnus to his very core. He was Magnus' favorite pea coat, hugging him close and comfortable. He was the golden glow of warm candles on a chilly night and laughter echoing down an empty street. He was tradition like going to a pumpkin patch and change like the colour of the leaves. _Alec was autumn,_ he embodied self-renewal; brave like the leaves fallen off of trees, shedding an old skin, one that was certainly beautiful, yet was in need of a change, a good one that radiated in Magnus' soul. A change, that went through a harsh winter and came out the other side, even more stunning than before.

Alec was autumn and Magnus, well, Magnus loved autumn.

And one day, maybe he'll tell Alec all the reasons why.

_Because you are autumn._

He cuddled in close, kissed his angel on his forehead, and succumbed to a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't make the rules but Alec and Magnus are two gravitational forces, always being pulled back together, always meant to orbit around each other.  
> P.S: Jin is old only in years, he's a fae chef, but he acts like an old man.  
> I hope you enjoyed this my lovelies. See you soon. Xo. S.


	5. The Blood in my Veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Magnus almost loses Alec, is a day like any other, except it's not, it's also the day Magnus' entire world almost ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok quick dedication to my heart and soul Madison, thank you for always having my back, and specifically, Heartbreakers™, I am a disaster without your never-ending love and support (and a mess of emotions with it). Thank for always putting up with my messy ideas. 
> 
> love you long time.
> 
> Hello angels, it's back, this one is super long and rambles a lot, and maybe a bit painful, but I do hope you enjoy it, I've never published before, even though I've gained quite a reputation at being angsty af, anyway, love you all, tell me what you think. Enjoy!
> 
> \----

The first time Magnus almost loses Alec is like any other day, _almost_. It was a Tuesday, the weather was good, the sky clear and the sun shining. Nothing was amiss, everything was just _normal_.

\-----

They were busy as always, and Magnus had barely seen his Alexander. Other than a quick kiss whispered in between them before bed and when they wake up, they were apart for most days, frankly, Magnus missed Alec. He hasn’t been this far away from him since the beginning of their relationship all those months ago, and Magnus hates it. He hates being away from Alexander, but their duties as leaders kept them busy as ever. They were in a middle of a war after all.

But today, today they have time, somehow both their timetables slot perfectly and they actually have time to see each other, for more than just a brief moment. Magnus smiled, joy filling him up to the brim, adding a slight bounce to his step. He was excited to spend time with his angel, so sue him. 

Once at the Institute he beelined for Alec’s office, smiling as he saw Alec completely focused on the paperwork in front of him, his brow furrowed in concentration and Magnus itched to soothe the creases of stress for his angel.

He entered without hesitation, “Hey angel of mine.”

Alec’s head shot up from his work and Magnus’ heart warmed as Alec’s look of surprise melted into a soft smile, he quickly scrambled to his feet, and crossing to Magnus, kissing him lightly, “Magnus! Sorry I didn’t even notice you,” he winced, “I didn’t miss our lunch date, did I?”

Magnus laughed, his Nephilim was too cute, he leaned up to give him another quick kiss before pulling away, “No darling, I just decided to come surprise you, my meeting with my client ended early anyway. Plus,” Magnus shrugged, “I missed you.”

The answering grin Magnus got in response lit Magnus up like the sun on a warm summer’s day.

Alec pulled Magnus into his arms hugging him tight against his body, his arms coming around Magnus’ shoulders as he shoved his face into Magnus’ hair, “I missed you too Mags.” Magnus smiled as he wound his arms around Alec’s waist and nuzzled his face into Alec’s chest and let himself melt, his soul calming and heart beating like a drum, in tandem with Alec’s. As simple as a hug can be, Alec grounded him like no other, he wrapped Magnus in a sense of light; a sort of brightness that rivaled the stars, seeping into Magnus’ every poor, filling Magnus with a fresh youth that was so invigorating, so impossible, yet somehow possible.

He never thought he’d have this, this kind of love, the kind that simultaneously woke you up and calmed you down. The kind that fills you up with the brim with emotion, always threatening to spill over Magnus’ lips, begging him to tell the entire world, tell everyone how much he loves—breathes, _exists_ for Alec, lives to see him smile, does everything he can to make Alec laugh. Alec had become everything to him in such a small time. Magnus could barely remember a time when he didn’t love Alec; when the blood in his veins didn’t sing for his angel, when his hands didn’t constantly reach for him, when his heart didn’t beg to be by Alec’s side, every second of the day.

He has loved before, deep and intense, but never truly like this, he never though he would ever get this love, but then Alec—his Alexander, _his angel_ , came along and carved a place in Magnus’ heart, his name etched in his ribs.

When they separate Alec is still smiling at him and Magnus is helpless to smile back, he leans up, kissing Alec softly on the nose, making him flush happily before asking, “Where do you feel like going today? Paris? Milan, perhaps Japan?”

Alec bit his lip as if contemplating, before tilting his head, in that infuriatingly cute and smiled, as if he had all the answers, Magnus narrowed his eyes in response, waiting.

“How about,” Alec paused, and then his eyes were roaming over Magnus’ body hungrily, before meeting Magnus’ eyes, and continued smirk evident in his voice, “we go home? Have some _lunch_ there. Quick and easy.”

Magnus quirked an eyebrow in amusement, knowing exactly what Alec was implying, and was _all for it_.  He let himself sway closer into Alec’s space, his lips hovering, a hairsbreadth from Alec’s, delighting at the sound of Alec’s breath hitching, “ _Oh_ , you naughty _, naughty boy_.”

Alec’s grin in response could only be described as wolfish, and full of promises, “Only for you.”

Magnus giggled, and stroked his hands up Alec’s sides and up his shoulders, only to wind his arms around his shoulders, as Alec’s dropped to his waist, pulling Magnus into his body, until they were connected from chest to knee. Magnus tilted his head, his body trilling in anticipation, he leaned in for a kiss, but before their lips could touch, the Institute is doused in red light and alarms are blaring in their ears.

 And that’s how everything goes to hell.

\-----

They jump apart quickly, exchanging worried glances. The previous playful mood that surrounded that room seeping out as Alec immediately shifts into the Head of the Institute; stone cold, a storm waiting to be unleashed. The soldier ready to protect his people.

In an instant, his bow is in his hand and he nods at Magnus, as if asking if he was ready. Magnus nods back and let’s his magic gather into his fingertips as the air around them crinkles and pops with power. They wasted no time in leaving the office, bodies coiled in tension as they made their way to the control room. Magnus glanced at Alec, who’s expression was hard, eyes scanning every shadow.

When the get to the main room, it is already in chaos, Shadowhunters and visiting Downworlders fighting side by side, holding their own as they battled the numerous demons invading the Institute.

Before they could go any further, with his heart beating wildly in his chest, Magnus pulled Alec down to him, kissing him hard and quick before leaning their foreheads together briefly, “Be careful darling.”

Alec smiled softly, “You too.”

And with that he drew back and nocked the first arrow, letting it fly.

Magnus took a deep breath, and steadily aimed his magic towards the demons, letting himself get lost in the battle.

The fight raged on, wild and fast. The air was thick with ichor and magic, both the from the Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike. The sound of blades, claws, magic cutting through flesh singing through the air. Magnus tracked his eyes around the room, taking note of all those fighting, he spots Luke in fray, protecting Clary and Isabelle as they gracefully cut down demon after demon, Simon tearing into demons as well by their side.

Magnus glanced to his left and saw his angel had switched to his blade, cutting down demons effortlessly, efficient and powerful, almost like a dance. He glanced at Magnus, breath hard, but smiling, wild and sharp. Even in the middle of battle, covered in sweat, ichor and blood, Magnus couldn’t help but admire Alec. He was gorgeous like this, lethal of course, but Magnus has always had a weakness for dangerous things. And Alec was exactly that, beautiful and dangerous, made to fight.

“You know,” Alec shouts over the chaos as him and Magnus fight back to back, Magnus takes out 3 demons, all in quick succession, “this isn’t quite how I imagined out lunch date, but I’ll take it.”

Magnus laughs out loud as his magic hits another demon, setting it ablaze, “Of course you wouldn’t mind, sex and fighting it’s all the same to you, you’re just an adrenaline junkie.”

Alec snickers, as they fight back to back, “Shut Up Mags, don’t even try to tell me you’re not having at least a little bit of fun, you’re always up for a fight.”

Magnus shrugs, twisting around and shooting a bolt of magic over Alec’s shoulder, “well ok fine, I may be having just a little fun, but only because I’ve also killed more demons than you, pretty boy.”

Alec scoffed good-naturedly, “As if Mags.”

“You know it’s true darling, your arrows are nothing in compared to my magic.” Magnus teased, knowing full well the precision and lethality of Alec’s arrows.

Alec laughed out loud at his remark but throwing a smirk his way, eyes full of challenge as he shoots stabs a demon without so much as a glance at it, “Oh, _ok,_ I see how it is, so are we gonna make this into a competition then.”

“Only if you’re _up to it_ , angel.” Magnus cheekily smiled.

“You know I always am.”

“Well then,” Magnus surmised, he leaned in quickly kissing Alec on the cheek as he threw a ball of magic behind him, “May the best man win.”

Alec laughed and once again they were swept back into battle.

It had been a while until Magnus checked for Alec again only to find him over to where Isabelle was fighting, a few feet away and wasn’t surprised, the Lightwood siblings always seemed to gravitate back towards each other whether in battle or just regular life. Especially Isabelle and Alec, they were each other’s biggest supporters and fiercest protectors. Magnus himself had seen first hand just how far they would go for each other, and honestly Magnus could relate. He admired them for a moment, fighting together, perfectly in sync, not natural like parabatai, but from years of having each other’s back and fighting side by side.

He couldn’t help but admire their grace, these were two Nephilim he had no problem believing had actual angel blood running in their veins.

Magnus turned back to the battle easily decimating any demon that dared got to close, almost falling in a daze, he didn’t notice the demon coming behind him, too focused on the demons in front and keeping an eye on everyone else. But Alec does, he always notices when it comes to Magnus, coming between the demon and Magnus without thinking twice, letting it strike him down.

One moment, Magnus is taking down three more demons, rejoicing as he gets ahead in his and Alec’s little competition, when suddenly he feels like someone stabbed him through his heart, a pain so bright and vivid it nearly blinds him. Magnus looks down wondering if he was somehow hit, but then a scream rips through the air, and it suddenly all makes sense.

_ALEC!!_

Magnus froze and spun around to where he last saw Alec, only to find him right behind him, a claw of a demon protruding from his chest, Blood quickly bubbling up from his chest and mouth. The world freezes as their eyes meet and Alec tries for a smile of course always trying to reassure Magnus, and then he drops.

Magnus can feel his blood roaring in his ears, his heart threatening to jump out of his chest as he watches Alec—his Alexander, his angel; his very life, fall to the floor. A scream builds up in him, but no sound comes out.

_This can’t be happening_.

A cold, ancient fury welled up in Magnus, overtaking his heart and soul and plunging them in a shrouding darkness, Magnus normally has a tight rein on his magic, never revealing just how much power he actually holds. But seeing Alec fall to the ground blood pouring out of his chest, it made an anger settle into his skin, his magic pulsed ferociously, and everything exploded outward, unforgiving and harsh, plowing every demon as it stretched outward in a flash of blue. There was no mercy left in his bones, he let his magic flow, unrestrained and wild. Until nothing was left of the demons except dust.

How dare they? How dare these pitiful demons no doubt sent by Valentine, a coward who couldn’t even face them himself, how dare he think that these low-level scum could ever, _ever_ touch his Alexander and think that he wouldn’t destroy them. Magnus could feel the power of his magic lick through his veins, engulfing him and the room in a powerful glow, the room shook from the raw power shooting outwards, and everyone was knocked to the floor, but Magnus barely paid it attention, eyes only for his angel bloodied and broken on the floor. In a moment everything was forgotten, the force of the magic dying down as Magnus dropped to his knees, instead pushing everything he had left into Alec.

It was because of him Alec was on the floor, bleeding out, because Magnus wasn’t paying attention. He saved Magnus, but doesn’t he know Magnus won’t live if he dies.

"Please, please stay with me, ok sweetheart? Just keep breathing, keep your eyes on me. I've got you ok? I've got you." Magnus can feel his hands shaking as he pushes his magic into Alec trying to stem the bleeding. He's fading fast, Magnus knows they don't have much time, but he doesn't care, he pushes everything he has into his lover, it doesn't matter if it kills him, as long as Alec survives, as long as he doesn't leave him.

(He doesn't think he could survive in a world without Alec, not anymore.)

Dark spots start to cloud his vision, but Magnus pays it no mind, there is no way he's going to let himself pass out before Alec is healed. He won't let himself, it doesn't matter that he's used almost all of his reserves, he just needs Alec to be ok. The blood that was gushing out of Alec's stomach is starting to slow down a bit and Magnus takes a moment to silently thank whatever deity that there was no venom in the wound. If he can just close the wound completely, it'll all be fine. He just needs Alec to remain conscious. He doesn’t know how much time passes but it doesn’t matter, he would devote all seconds, minutes and hours to saving his angel.

He glances up at his lover's face to make sure he is still awake, and he panics slightly when he sees Alec's unfocused eyes start to shut.

"No, no, Alexander, darling, keep your eyes open for me ok? Don't close them, keep those beautiful hazel eyes on me, keep looking at me." 

"Mag— "Alec groans in pain, "Magnus—It's ok." He smiles faintly, and there is blood bubbling out of his mouth and his breathing is laboured, but he keeps talking, "it's ok, y—you need to conserve your—" he swallows thickly, "your m—agic. Don't...worry, ab-about me. I'll be...fine." 

With that, Alec smiles weakly once more, closes his eyes and he goes completely limp. Magnus's heart freezes, he can feel his breath stutter because no this can't be happening, not now, not ever.

"No, no, hey, Alexander, _ALEXANDER_ , wake up, please, please, you _can't_ leave me, I won't survive if you do, _please_." 

He's about to release all he has left into Alec, when he feels arms tugging him away. He struggles against them, he has no time for this. He needs to heal Alec. He struggles harder trying to get away, but they continue to drag him backwards and away from his boyfriend. 

"Stop, _stop please_ , I need—I need to go to him, he's hurt. I need to heal him. He needs me." Magnus says reaching for his lover. But he can't move. There is another set of hands holding him still and away from his Alexander and _no that's not allowed._

Panic grips his soul, Alec is hurt and they're taking him away from him, they need to stop, Magnus needs to help Alec. "Stop it, leave me be, Alec needs me _please_ ," Magnus pleads trying to get away from the hands holding him back. There are tears streaming down his face and he feels shaky all over, but it doesn't matter because Alec is getting carried away from him on a stretcher and Magnus is being forced to not follow and no, _no that's not right._

He can hear Luke _(Clary and Simon?)_ _,_ who must've been holding him, trying to explain that there are people that are there, and they need to do their job, to trust them they can heal him, and Magnus needs to calm down, but he can't. "NO, NO please, _he needs **me,**_ let me go! Alexander—ALEC" Magnus screams, screams and screams; everyone is trying to calm him down, but it doesn't matter, nothing matters, they're taking his Alexander, _his everything_ , away. 

( _Don't they know Magnus can't breathe without him?_ )

Magnus continues to struggle even as Alec disappears from sight. He screams even louder now that his lover isn't even visible to him. 

How dare they think they can take his Alexander from him? How dare they think he would be fine with it?

No, _no_ , this was completely unacceptable. Magnus tries one last time, he lets out a strong burst of magic and escapes his captor’s arms. He needs to get to Alec, but he used so much of his magic on him already that he collapses, weak from exertion. He tries to crawl forward, trying anything to get to his lover. But someone grabs him again.

This time, he sags against whoever was holding him back in defeat, tears streaming down his face. His make-up has been long since been messed up, but he doesn't care, the only thing he cares about in the entire universe is Alec being ok. Nothing else. They were supposed to have a rest, and enjoy each other’s company, now Alec's hurt, _his Alexander is hurt_ , and Magnus isn't even with him.

They finally got a night off after weeks of non-stop fighting. He just wanted to spend time with the man he loved. 

Yet here they were, and _Magnus_ isn't even with him, he's so far away from Alec. 

That thought speeds his breathing up again, because what if Alec needs him? And he's not there, what if he's calling for Magnus right now? What if he slips away and Magnus isn't there, to save him? 

He starts to hyperventilate, and this time someone is whispering in his ear, trying to calm him down but he can't, he won't calm down until he knows Alec is safe. He can feel his vision blacken around the edges and he can't calm down, the last thing he sees is a flash of blonde hair and then he passes out. 

\-----

"No!"

Magnus shot up from where he is, breathing rapid and momentarily confused. Until the images of what had happened earlier flood his racing mind. Images of his Alexander, bloody and unconscious and being taken away from _him._

He looks around desperately and sees, Clary, Luke and Simon sitting across from him. He glances around and figures out he's in a chair right outside of the infirmary. He then realizes that they must have put him here when he passed out. He straightens up with a wince and looks at everyone, all somber faced, worry present in their eyes.

His heartbeat quickens, eyes once again filling with tears, he intends to ask where Alec is and how he's doing but all that comes out is a desperate, "Alec??"

Clary and Simon both flinch and look down at their hands, an angry sadness clear on both their faces, yet they say nothing.

He glances at Luke, who is already looking at him, jaw clenched, the same sadness present on his face, _something was wrong_. But before either of them could say anything, Isabelle comes storming down the hall, thunderous anger like lightning crossing her face. Her hair wild, cheeks streaked by tears messing up her usually perfect make up. She looks as wrecked as Magnus feels.

When she locks eyes with Magnus, something in her just breaks and her shoulders slump, whatever fight in her seeping out. He tilts his head questioningly, “Alec?” and Isabelle shakes her head, tears filling her eyes once more.

Magnus can feel his stomach knot up once more.

"I-I don’t know, they--they've told me nothing,” Isabelle’s voice trembles, “Magnus, I don't know what to do _,_ no one has told me anything, and--they had to sedate Jace, when he came, rampaging in here from his hunt, after Alec, just after you passed out, because he wouldn't calm down and they took him away too, _"_ She's rambling almost hysterically now, and Magnus just stares, heart starting to pound. He can feel panic rise into his throat cutting off his breath because he has never seen or _heard_ Isabelle so destroyed, she looks so lost, "—I'm scared because no one is letting me into the infirmary, I tried Magnus, I tried to get it but they're—the Inquisitor and her people, they’re keeping me away from _both of my brothers_ , I can't tell you anything because _I just don't know."_

The tears shining in her eyes spilled over once more, and Isabelle started shaking, from anger or sadness, it was hard to tell, Clary and Simon both react immediately, carefully grabbing her and leading her to a chair, arms around her. Magnus wants to do something, but he can’t, Magnus can't move, he's frozen, his breath leaving his body.

He could feel the anger and desperation build up inside him, a volcano ready to erupt. _How dare they keep Alec away, from his family, from **Magnus** , who does __the Clave think they are?_

**No.**

Suddenly the lights above them are shattering and the hall vibrating, as if it were ready to crumble at any second, the smell of magic prominent in the air, but Magnus doesn't care, he's done with being kept away from Alexander, _his Alexander_ , who is hurt, and they _took him away_ , they took him away from Magnus. He is not the High Warlock of Brooklyn for nothing, he has the power to prove it. There is a storm raging within him, begging to be unleashed, and Magnus doesn't stop it. He stands up, his cat eyes glinting dangerously, he was done, _th_ _e Clave was done._

_How dare they think that they could take the man he loves from him and not suffer. They were about to find out why Magnus is a Prince of Hell._

He’s about to tear down the hallway when Isabelle calls him back, “Magnus!” he turns to her, ready to be confronted with protest but all he sees when he looks at her is an angry determination. She nods, “tear them apart.”

Magnus smirks in response and stalks down to the infirmary, anger shadowing his every step.

\-----

When Magnus gets to the infirmary there are what looks like 4 guards blocking everyone’s path and Magnus can’t help the growl that passes his lips. Anger building up with every step he takes, steaming dangerously; a volcano, thrumming with power underneath, just _waiting to erupt_. He wants to unleash it all, much like he did earlier, rain hellfire on these Shadowhunters, but he knows, as much as he hates it, the conscious part of him knows it won’t get him any closer to his Alexander.

So, he’ll ask politely, once, _just once,_ and if they dare to refuse him, well, then— _then,_ Magnus won’t hesitate even a millisecond to tear them apart.

He straightens up his shoulders, and lets his magic flow around him as if preparing for yet another battle to come. He slows his gait, falling into a well-practiced dance of elegance as he steps forward facing all the guards head on, he knows his make up is still smudged under his eyes, but he could care less, embracing the dark image it brings. “Evening Shadowhunters,” He greets, delighted as the guards immediately freeze up at the sight of blue sparks crackling in his hands. “It seems you lot, are keeping something; or rather _someone_ very precious, away from his family, but namely, _from me_. And I absolutely _loathe it_ when someone tries to take away what’s _mine_. So, I am going to ask once and only once, may I please see Alexander Lightwood?”

A guard scoffed, “Get out of here _warlock_ , no one is allowed to see the Head of the Institute while he’s healing.”

Magnus’ face twitched in anger, “Really and _why’s that_?”

“Inquisitor’s orders. Possible contamination to the healing process. Especially you.”

_Contamination?_ Oh no, Magnus was done, there was no more mercy, no more patience, on a normal day, he might reply with a scathing remark or two and let it slide. But not today, _no_ , how dare they, the previous blue sparks raining red as Magnus let his glamour drop, revealing his golden cat-eyes. Lights flickered in the corridor and Magnus smirked, the smell of ozone filling the air and his magic surrounded him, fire sparking at his fingertips ready to set the world ablaze, “I believe, I just heard you denying me entrance. That was the wrong move.”

For a moment none of the Shadowhunters spoke, until the one to Magnus’ left opened his mouth, voice wavering, “We can’t let you in.”

Magnus laughed darkly, “Well then, I guess I’ll have to let myself in.”   

The fire of Edom that ran through his veins thrummed behind the gold of his eyes, reminding everyone, just _who he was_ , and with a single flick of his wrist, he had all fours guards choking against the wall.

“Magnus Bane!” A voice rings through the air, a voice Magnus so very despises.

He spins around gracefully, keeping the guards pinned, “Madame Inquisitor.”

“Let my guards go immediately,” She demands, Magnus just smirks and pins the guards harder, “Do not test me Warlock Bane.”

“ _Do not test me_.” Magnus growls back, “You have no idea what I am capable of, _no idea_ how far I’ll go for Alexander.”

“I will have you arrested.” She shrieks, and turns to the Shadowhunters she brought with her, “Seize him!”

They come at him all at once, but Magnus doesn’t flinch, instead he simple snaps and the guards freeze, and with an elegant swish of his hand they all drop unconscious to the floor. Magnus then locks eyes with the Inquisitor, “I’d like to see you try.”

With that, he turns back around, without so much as sparing a second glance, instead walking into the infirmary, commanding the room with his presence, daring a single soul to defy him.

He spots Alec in a far bed to the right and once again he feels like he’s shaking apart, he wants to fall to his knees, seeing his angel like this, bandages strapped across his chest, his breathing shallow, his eyes closed, long black eyelashes like spiderwebs across his pales cheeks. But he won't fall apart, because Alec is okay, he's alive and breathing and that's all that matters. He's still here with Magnus, Magnus briefly closes his eyes, thanking whatever deity that was listening that his Alexander was still here with him and then takes a deep breath, steadying himself. Magnus walks towards his angel brushing his cheek lightly with the back of his hand, and settling into the chair beside him.

It’s only then, he feels exhaustion creep up into his soul, he knows he’s burning low, with a last ounce of his magic, he locks puts up a protective barrier and grabs Alec’s hand in his, his eyes never stray from Alec's chest, lifting up and down in quiet, but steady breaths. His own breath matching his angels until he finally slips into sleep.

\-----

Magnus stirs into consciousness with the feeling of fingers running through his air, he hums contently nuzzling into the touch, until he remembers where he was and shoots up. Only to see Alec staring at him, a soft smile gracing his pale face. Magnus eyes immediately fill with tears and he’s launching himself at Alec, throwing his arms around him, “ _Alexander_ , you’re ok! Gods I was so scared, there was so much blood and you were dying—"

Alec shushed him gently, encircling his arms around Magnus tightly, “Shh, baby, of course I am, and I hear it’s thanks to you, I know what you did, you saved me ok? I’m ok all because of you.”

“But if I had just paid more attention—” Magnus voiced was muffled from where he was nuzzled against Alec.

“No,” Alec cut him off, “it’s not your fault ok, in fact I should be thanking you for everything you did, for getting past the guards and everything, it’s amazing Magnus.”

Magnus pulled back, sniffing, but still holding Alec’s hand, “I would do anything for you,” Alec blushes in response and Magnus is so happy to see colour back in his cheeks that he can’ help but lean in, brushing his lips to Alec’s forehead, “but how did you know?”

Alec nodded his head to something behind Magnus and he turned to see Jace and Isabelle asleep beside each other on another bed in the infirmary. “They told me everything, and then,” Alec chuckled lightly, “after almost suffocating me, scolded me for getting hurt and how I scared them to death.”

Magnus’ heart stuttered as he remembered the fear that engulfed him when Alec got hurt and brought Alec’s knuckles to his lips, kissing them reverently, “What you did was very stupid, getting hurt like that, much less for _me_ , Alexander, I have never been more afraid in my life.”

“Magnus—I had to, I couldn’t let you get hurt, I can’t—I need you alive.” Alec stared at him imploring he understand, and Magnus did he really did, but he couldn’t have Alec risking himself, he was too important, not only to Magnus, but for the future.

“Alexander, you fool, you beautiful fool, I’m immortal.”

“Tha—” Alec cut off with a wince, but shaking his head in reassurance when Magnus looked on worriedly, “doesn’t mean you’re invincible.”

“It doesn’t matter sweetheart—” Magnus started.

“It does though,” Alec interrupted, “you can still get hurt, you can still bleed, and Magnus I can’t lose you. I don’t know what I’d do without you, I can’t—I don’t know how to breathe without you.”

“I can’t lose you either.” Magnus exclaimed, his heart was beating so hard it was as if it was trying to lurch out his chest and into his hands, “don’t you get it? Alexander, you are _everything_ to me, my angel, I am lost without you, I can barely remember a time when I didn’t _lo—_ ” Magnus cleared his throat, they hadn’t said those three words yet, he knew he felt them. Of course, he did from the very moment Alec first smiled at him Magnus was falling, but this was not the time to use them, he would not use them out of desperation, he would be proper, he would give the _I love you_ Alec deserves, “—have you. Please you can’t leave me.”

“ _Magnus_ ,” Alec pulls him close, pressing their foreheads together, “I refuse to live in a world without you, and I will never stop saving you, you are everything to me too, I cannot promise anything, with the life we live, but I swear, to Raziel and beyond, I will fight my hardest to never leave you side, that I can promise.” 

Magnus breath hitches, he knows that those three specific words may not have been spoken out loud, but somehow, he had never felt so loved in his entire life. He doesn’t know what to say, so instead he crashes their lips together in a sweet kiss, it was soft, but Magnus poured his heart into his, hoping Alec would get it. Hoping he would understand that he was the very air Magnus needed to breathe, the very blood in his veins. Magnus knew without a doubt in this moment, his life was completely Alec’s, he was totally and utterly Alec’s.

When they finally pulled back Magnus noticed how tired Alec really looked, “C’mon darling, looks like you need some more rest. 

Alec smiled tiredly, “You do too. Stay with me?”

Magnus smiled back, “There is no where else I’d rather be.” He moved to get up, but Alec held him tight.

“No, I mean sleep here, with me?”

Magnus shook his head, “Alexander, sweetheart, you need the space to rest, I can’t”

“Please,” Alec pleaded, his wide hazel eyes wide and a pout on his lips, Magnus was helpless to resist. 

He sighed, “ok fine, only if you promise to tell me if it hurts.”

Alec nodded eagerly, and Magnus moved, careful about Alec’s wound, so that Alec was leaning against his chest and Magnus was sitting against the pillow. He shuffled trying to make it comfortable and Alec winced, Magnus immediately froze, “Are you sure you’re ok.”

Alec nodded and settled against him, “more than ok Mags, promise.” 

Magnus brushed Alec’s hair off his forehead and leaned down pressing a kiss there, “Ok good, sleep now darling.”

Alec snuggled in closer and dropped off in minutes.

Magnus felt the air in his lungs expand, feeling lighter as he watched his angel alive and breathing against him, reveling in the feel of his warm body. Knowing without a doubt that he would do anything to keep Alec safe and alive by his side.

\-----

The first time Magnus almost loses Alec is also the first time Magnus realizes how far he could go for Alec. He would give up everything to always have Alec by his side, burn the world, spill blood, _die_ in order for Alec to live, to exist in this world. _Anything_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's it lovelies, I hope you enjoyed it, thank you for reading, any suggestions on what I should write next? Xoxo, see you soon -S.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still working at "National Anthem" I'm just going through a little writer's block. Also should I turn this into a collection of Malec firsts? Yay? Nah? Maybe? Hmmmm. We'll see. Anyway, thanks for reading lovelies, remember kudos and comments keep an author warm ILY ALL.


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